Chai Spiced Cookies with Toasted Pecans

I wore a dress as a skirt yesterday. And sandals. Cheap, flimsy aviator sunglasses were involved too. I had to put my hair up to fend off unsightly neck sweat.

What I'm trying to say is that we're finally, FINALLY into the throws of spring and nearly hitting summer. I've got less than a month left of school. I caught the scent of a charcoal grill in the afternoon air. People are lounging about and reading outside in the sun. All good things, all summery things.

So why did I make cookies that taste just.like.fall? That bring to mind changing leaves, pumpkin spice lattes, and thick sweaters? That are neither a sweet and light lemony dessert or a crisp, refreshing beverage perfect for the sweltering heat to come?

Because I like to be difficult.

Chai Spiced Apple Cider Cupcakes with Pumpkin Pie Frosting

I have a fear of stopwatches. Severe anxiety might be more accurate. When I see one, my heart starts to pump faster, and faster still. The seconds, as if trying to keep pace with my frantic pulse, seem to tick by at a rapid clip. My hands sweat and my throat dries up.

I felt this way every time I had a cross country race in high school. It made me miserable. I still get anxious thinking about it even. Despite my competitive streak, the idea of trying to beat a clock makes me nauseous.

And that’s how I felt Friday night going into my competition on Saturday. Panicked, freaked, stressed, overwhelmed. I didn’t want to do it anymore. I just didn’t.

But here’s the kicker, I didn’t have to beat the clock on Saturday.